In light of the Iowa thing…

So, the Iowa thing happened, and Barack Obama was a big winner. This wouldn’t bother me under normal circumstances. I tend to think that Clinton is the right choice, given that she’s competent, represents the Clinton team, and is the safest possible choice. But Obama seems perfectly up to the task of winning a general election too, if not by so safe a margin.

However, in the wake of Iowa, my opinion has changed. This is not because of the nature of the Democratic race, but of the Republican one. The big winner for their side was not Mike Huckabee, though he did build a lot of steam. The biggest winner out there was John McCain. John McCain only came in fourth, it’s true. But McCain didn’t compete in Iowa. Mitt Romney worked that state for a year and spent millions of dollars on it. McCain did relatively well and he didn’t even bother to show up. A few months ago, John McCain was written off as dead in the water. Now he’s started coming back, and he really scares me. He scares me because unlike the other clowns who make up the Republican slate, he could actually win. Hell, I could even vote for this guy.

If John McCain gets nominated, Barack Obama will not be able to beat him. It doesn’t matter how flashy or “hopeful” he is. Compared to McCain, he is an unknown commodity with some big- but as yet unexplored- flaws. Versus John McCain, I think that only Hillary Clinton can win.

Hillary Clinton is solid, and she is the safest possible chance the Democrats have for victory. But, unfortunately, people don’t want solid. At least not the fringe voters who dominate the primaries. These people want flashy. They want pizzazz. They don’t want business as usual; they want someone who can make a really exciting speech, full of good jokes and promises of “change”. Primaries are all about appealing to the most extreme ideals of the parties, often at the expense of the more moderate people who vote in the general election. This tendency is most pronounced in the Democratic Party. At least insofar as it has led to more catastrophes. Many times the Democrats have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory by nominating candidates who are idealistic- and terrible. I wasn’t born at the time, but I’m told George McGovern from 1972 is a good example of this.

Now let’s look at some specifics.

Obama has practically no experience. This mattered when it was just Obama vs. Hillary, and here he’s only competing with a junior senator/former first lady. What do you think is going to happen when it comes time to deal with a skilled, tested, charming, 5 time all-star senator war hero?

Now for the drugs. Obama has admitted to doing cocaine.

But Dave, he admitted that already! And no one really cares! LOL!!!

Sweet f-ing Jesus what is wrong with you? In 2000, the Republicans destroyed the character of a two time Vice President who was so clean cut it was actually off-putting. In 2004, they annihilated the reputation of John Kerry, a Vietnam veteran who earned the Silver Star, Bronze Star, and THREE Purple Hearts.

The Republicans are going to find someone who did coke with Barack Obama. Maybe this person will even say that Mr. Obama provided the cocaine that everyone enjoyed. I already know Obama is going to be turned into a drug dealer and the Republicans haven’t even brought the knives out yet. You’re going to pit this man against the war hero John McCain? Don’t be cruel.

Notice that the Republicans really haven’t said a word about Obama. They do this, because they want to face him. They are dying to face him. When your opponent seems keen to hang himself, you don’t take his rope away. The Republican smear machine has stayed quiet for now because they know that if and when it comes time, they are going to eat this guy alive.

Now let’s look at the scariest part. Mike Huckabee is an all-star right now, himself. He’s young, charming, an amazing public speaker, a great campaigner, and he speaks intimately to the Christian Right.

McCain’s big problem politically has always been that (despite being conservative) he's much more appealing to the moderate center- he never worked well with the fringe of the Republican Party; precisely the people who are most important in the primaries and precisely why he has trouble getting nominated. Should McCain win the nom, he will still want to shore up this flank so he can continue appealing to the center with his maverick shenanigans. Another small problem for McCain is his age. Currently 71, he would be the oldest incoming President to date. Enter Vice-Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee; he’s young, charming, an amazing public speaker, a great campaigner, and he speaks intimately to the Christian Right. I might also point out that Huckabee is from Arkansas, and McCain is from Arizona, so it sounds like they’ll have the South pretty well sewn up.

Also worth noting is that the McCain and Huckabee campaigns have a “non-aggression” pact of sorts in effect. They don’t launch attack ads on each other because they both weaken each others’ primary rivals, and also because, according to Huckabee:

“We’ve developed mutual respect…We see each other as worthy soldiers fighting the fight to be president and recognizing that each of us will have a chance to share our platform. And we have plenty to run on — both of us — without having to go and try to attack each other.”

This is a nightmare ticket in its gestation.

But Dave, Obama is the real thing. You shouldn’t have to choose a candidate based on “electability”! That’s precisely what’s wrong with American politics! I don’t want to choose between a douche and a turd!
Shut up. Shut your f-ing mouth. Shut. Up.
How DARE you speak such nonsense to me? How dare you believe it yourself?
I only have one thing to say to you:

- “Frankly, when I look at Al Gore and George Bush, I don’t even see a difference. They’re both big party candidates supported by the corporations/media/lobbyists/Jews. I’m going to vote for Ralph Nader because I vote based on what I think is important to me, not the dynamics of the race.”

This entire decade is your fault.
Forget Iraq and the War on Terror. We are going to have an ultra-right wing Supreme Court for the next generation at least.

Finally, remember Bill Clinton? Leaves the warm and fuzzies in your heart, doesn’t he? See, everyone I know looks back on the Clinton years as a golden age, and they are rabidly devoted to the old guy. People seem to forget that Bill Clinton wasn’t really that liberal a president. NAFTA was a Bill Clinton joint, people. As a president, Clinton was extremely centrist. What’s more, it was exactly for this reason that he was so successful as a president. Does the term “triangulation” ring a bell? This was Clinton’s strategy of taking his left-leaning ideas, observing the right-leaning ideas of his opponents, and then coming down in the middle, simultaneously stealing his opponent’s ideas and influencing them with his own. It tended to work very well; the mixing of strategies was usually to the benefit of the country. Hillary works just this way, and this is why left wing Democrats hate her. They are wrong, and the rest of us need to realize this before they ruin another four years for us. Do not let the quest for "perfection" become the enemy of "good enough".

So please listen to me. Please, do not nominate Barack Obama. I know you want to, and I even sympathize, I do. He’s immensely likeable. He’s even electable, come some more experience. He could even be VP candidate. But now just not his time. In a general election, this man will be destroyed. The Republicans have been dealt a very weak hand this year, but they’re very astute politically. And if there’s one thing they know how to do, its smear a candidate. I know you lefty- Democrats out there hate Hillary Clinton and all, but for goodness sake, think of the rest of us. Think of the mistakes you’ve already made in the not so distant past and just use some judgment. Please. Just this once.